Content warning: brief mention of sex, infidelity, brief language
Brett moved out and moved in with his mistress, opting to move into a one-bedroom apartment with her that meant he couldn't really have the kids overnight regularly. He'd take them on occasion but by and large, I began functioning as a full time parent.
It bears pointing out that as soon as I had discovered Brett's infidelity, I started working part time at a local movie theater (having been out of the work force for 5 years and needing some money coming in, in addition to school). In August of that year, on Amy's birthday, I started working full time for Cigna as a customer service rep. I did not return to school. I stayed at Cigna for just shy of 2 years.
Man, divorces are EXPENSIVE. Brett and I by that point both acknowledged the need for a divorce but neither of us had the money to actually hire an attorney. He continued his relationship with Kathryn. I eventually started dating that winter.
Co-parenting with Brett has been a roller coaster from day 1. Some times we'd be getting along well and work together fairly seamlessly. Other times, we were very much at odds and arguments were plenty and plenty ugly.
We had agreed at one point that the other co-parent would get to meet any partners prior to them being introduced to the kids. That meant meeting Kathryn. I specifically requested that we meet for drinks because honestly, I needed some alcohol to be able to deal with actually being face to face with that woman.
This was during one of the better times between Brett and I, and was before I started dating. He and I had actually slept together a few times since splitting up, and he had been very candid (and rather proud) about having had unprotected sex with several women off Tinder. While with Kathryn. After leaving me for her. And still sleeping with me.
Kathryn and I met and talked over drinks. We asked each other a few questions. Eventually she flat out asked me if I thought he would cheat again. I practically spit out my drink, but considered carefully. There was no way she would believe me if I told her. I would just be the vindictive, petty ex-wife trying to ruin their relationship...or whatever.
So instead I told her, "Absolutely, 100%, if he hasn't already. You should really get tested." To which she responded, "Why, do you have something?"
Oooooh, the nerves of that woman. I don't remember exactly what I said to that, but it was to the effect of, no, but I don't know where he's been since me.
After I began dating my first girlfriend, several months into our relationship he finally met her. After that I stopped really caring about his approval, to be honest, because I'm poly and have more partners to coordinate, and it just didn't make sense. Besides, I wasn't the one who'd taken up with another person while we were still together.
There were many incidents during this time that just enraged me. One of the most vivid is Mothers' Day of 2016. I had the kids. We'd had kind of a crazy day, and ran to Schnucks so I could pick up some sushi for dinner because dammit, it was my day and I wanted sushi. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, both girls started vomiting in the back of the car. Come to find out, they'd gotten into the bottle of kids' multivitamins and eaten an unknown number of them. We bolted for home and I called poison control, who told me to take them to the ER immediately since the vitamins had iron in them. I did, calling Brett on the way to let him know I had it handled. I declined an offer from one of my partners to come with me, as I wasn't sure if Brett was going to show up and I didn't want to cause any issues.
Sure enough, he showed up about half an hour later WITH KATHRYN. On Mothers' Day. He brought her with him into the exam room with our children, and she had the gall to actually attempt to parent David right in front of me. Suffice it to say there were many, many daggers being glared in their general direction that night.
A little while later, she was headed to McDonald's to grab food for her and Brett. They asked if I wanted anything and I asked for a Dr. Pepper. After she left, my phone went off and I saw I had a text from Brett...clearly mistakenly sent to me instead of Kathryn. He relayed his food order and added, "And a Dr. Pepper for Cunty." I flipped my shit and replied that "Cunty" didn't need anything after all, thanks so much. Kathryn responded that I didn't have a leg to stand on in regard to name-calling. They weren't fond of my tendency to refer to her interchangeably as Brett's mistress or his whore. Whore may have been inaccurate, but last time I checked, a woman having an affair with a married man is called a mistress.
I know this post is all over the place. Those couple of years were just...chaotic. At the very end of October 2016, Brett and Kathryn finally moved into a 2-bedroom place and he and I agreed on a 50-50 custody split while still not having anything formalized or on record with the court. Brett was paying the daycare fees, but nothing else. The eye of the hurricane lasted about 8 months before disaster struck again.
Next: Seeing Red, or Anything to Protect the Kids
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