I think this kid is going to give me a run for my money.

Well, we had another ultrasound this past Thursday, and the doctor's initial guess was confirmed. IT'S A GIRL! I'm super excited. I really thought she was a girl, but...you know. I love my OB, he cracks me up. He showed us the lines that indicate her...um...parts...and said that if she turned out to be a boy, he was retiring because he'd clearly lost his touch if that happened. I thought it was hilarious, but then I am fairly easily amused.

So she continues to be super active, which he again commented about. She barely held still during the ultrasound, and clearly doesn't like to be squished even a little bit, because she starts moving like crazy when my bladder is really full! It's like she's trying to tell me "Hey, Mom, I need some more room in here!"

I have to admit, even now that I feel her move sometimes, this still seems so surreal to me. I mean, we've been wanting to start our family, and we were trying for quite a while, but it's still hard to believe that it's actually HAPPENING. I'm doing everything I can to be ready for her when she comes, but it's so...disconcerting at times. Like, holy cow, I'm going to be responsible for someone who will be completely dependent on me. Am I ready for this? Are we ready for this? I know we're doing everything I can, but it's a very daunting task once you actually look at it. Fortunately I have Brett, and both of our parents are fantastic and will always be there to help us when we need it. But really...who would've thought a few years ago that I would be getting ready to be a mom? I couldn't have imagined it. I've done so much growing up the past few years it's almost difficult to recognize the person that I was. I'm glad of that, really. I didn't really like the person I was, and I'm so much happier now.

Wow, random, but she totally just kicked me. It makes me grin every time I feel her move.

Today was actually really fun. Mom called this morning because the girl that was supposed to help them was sick, and so I got to go down to help out with Heather. I haven't been involved in her morning routine for a long time, and so I was pretty pleasantly surprised that I didn't do anything stupid. Ha! Of course, I do stuff like turn patients all the time, but we don't dress our patients. I'm really glad Mom and Heather are patient with me while I'm getting back into the swing of things. I'm looking forward to being around them more often after the baby is born. At any rate, I actually did Heather's hair while Mom went grocery shopping, and got her all set up with her computer--not really a difficult task, but I've never actually blow-dried someone else's hair! Heck, I don't usually blow-dry my hair. I'm sure it wasn't like Heather usually has it, but I think I did pretty well, all things considered.

Mom and I got to chat once she got home from the store. I really love her, and I'm so glad we're friends now! I know I've mentioned it before, but seriously. She is such a fun person, and has so much advice to give (even if I choose not to take it). I love spending time down there, especially when Mom and I get the chance to catch up.

Well, I've gone on long enough, so I'll quit while I'm ahead.

Work, work, and more work....blech.

So, after 2 1/2 years working at the hospital, my manager FINALLY got me into the PCT class. Let me explain. I'll try to be brief.

At St. John's, nurse's aids aren't actually called nurse's aides. Of course, everyone has to have special names for it, right? Well, at St. John's there are two different levels of aides. The first is a PCA, or patient care associate, which is your basic tech who does all the bathing and feeding and cleaning up poo. Glamorous, right? :) Well, in the Burn Unit we do a lot more stuff, like dressing changes and wound debridement and lots of fun stuff like that. I love my job. So anyway, a PCT (patient care technician) can do more "advanced" things--tube feedings, wound care, sterile procedures (like some wound care requires), removal of foley catheters, some respiratory care like suctioning and other stuff, and phlebotomy.

So. When I was hired, I was told I'd be put through PCT training as soon as possible; however, clearly that's not how it happened. I was a little irked when two new PCAs got to go through the training right after their 90-day probationary period, when I'd already been waiting for 2 years. At any rate, I'm there now. I didn't realize until now how much "extra" stuff they have us do in the burn unit...I haven't actually learned anything NEW yet, but phlebotomy isn't until a week from Monday.

Still, it's kept me very busy. Class/clinicals are Mon-Fri, 7:30-4. We were running around all day today, which is actually sort of not true, because the instructor has to be there to watch us do whatever it is we're doing, and so if you're not the one or two people actually doing the work, you just....stand there. A PCA class and a bunch of nursing students are in house right now, so all the extra work we'd usually help with is just.... nonexistent. Kinda sucks.

Anyway, I got a prescription for the kind of Zofran that dissolves on your tongue...fabulous stuff. I'd been throwing up a lot over the past few days (three times Sunday, yippee), so I feel way better now.

Brett keeps asking me: 1) if it's his "turn" on the computer yet, and 2) if he can write one of my blog posts. Yikes. Scary thought....just kidding. He probably wouldn't do anything too terribly embarrassing. Although I did have a psycho pregnant chick moment on him just a little bit ago. I told him he could have the computer in a minute when I was done with my blog post. He teased me a little bit, and I totally freaked out on him. I told him he was ticking me off and...I don't really remember what else. It wasn't terribly mean, but...poor guy. I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes.

Sweet!

Had another dr's appointment today. Everything is right on track for my due date of July 30. I was sad today because Brett didn't get to go with me, and I think it's really neat when he gets to. But it was still a really fun appointment. I love seeing the doctor. :)

One good thing was that I'm far enough along that I get to have normal abdominal ultrasounds now. Yay! Not that the other kind was terrible, but it was a little uncomfortable. I'm really glad that the mound of goo he put on my stomach was warm! So I got to see little Nugget again. Wow, was Nug active! He (or she--he is just so much easier to type, so I go with the sort of gender-neutral 'he') barely quit moving the entire time. It was really cute, because at one point we could see both of his arms up over his head, and Brett totally sleeps with his hands behind his head sometimes, so I started laughing. I got to see feet with toes, and hands with fingers. It was so much fun! Even Dr. Whalen was surprised at how much Nugget was moving (and kicking! Not looking forward so much to THAT in a few months). We got some good pictures, and I'm really happy that everything is going so well. I've been terrified of miscarrying, especially since it took us a while to get pregnant in the first place. I know something could still happen, but it's nice to be safely out of my first trimester!

I'm also looking forward to my worst symptoms hopefully going away. Granted, I hear horror stories about women having morning sickness their entire pregnancy, but hopefully that won't be the case with me! The biggest thing is the fatigue, though. It's not easy working 12-hour shifts when I feel like I need a nap after lunch!

We had lot of fun celebrating Brett's birthday with Mom, Heather, and Chandra. They're always so much fun, and the game night Heather had was a blast. We didn't do a whole lot for his actual birthday on Saturday, since I worked all day, but I did give him his gift--a Penguin's third jersey, which he's been wanting for AGES. He was so excited. It's really cute, because when he gets all thrilled about his present, it's seriously like watching a little kid at Christmas. His entire face lights up, and he gets this huge smile. It's fabulous. I love it. So, anyway, we had some friends over for dinner on Sunday and I made a delicious Tollhouse pie....yum. Actually Brett's request, although of course I was more than happy to make my favorite dessert!

Okay, so I'm a slacker....

Maybe it's just me, but somehow it often seems like I'm just SO busy, and then I look back and think that...well, not a whole lot went on that was actually noteworthy. Anyone else?

So December seemed busy, but not a whole lot really happened. We had another Dr's appointment and another ultrasound. Everything looked good and we got to hear little Nugget's heartbeat. Yeah...I totally cried. Not, like, a lot, but there were definitely tears. :) I can't help it. Nugget's starting to actually resemble a human more than a sea monkey now, which is nice. :D

I had to work on Christmas since we switch off holidays at the hospital. I had Thanksgiving off, so...Christmas it was. It actually wasn't all that bad. We celebrated the night before and had our best friends over for dinner since I refuse to cook a real turkey dinner for just two people. It was really neat, and Sue and Justin brought her brother Phil, who was in town for the holidays. I love cooking for company. It's just so much fun! I actually stuffed the turkey this year, which was a new experience. It turned out just fine, although I think I ended up cooking it a little long, because the temp dot popped out, like, an hour before it was really supposed to, and I thought "It can't possibly be done yet," so I left it in. The turkey was a little drier than last year's (disappointing), but it wasn't terrible. Maybe I'll trust the thermometer a little more next time.

I just have to point out that it's totally weird to think about the fact that by next year, it won't just be Brett and me....Holy cow.

Brett's parents drove down to see us a few days after Christmas. It was so fantastic to see them. We really miss Barry & Barbara. I got so used to having them just a few minutes away, and hanging out all the time, and eating Sunday dinner together. It's weird that they're five hours away now. I'm not really a big fan. So anyway, they drove down and spent a couple days with us. We hung out, and went ice skating, and just spent time together. It was really nice. Ha, and Brett totally scared some little kid. It was justified, though.

Well, I'm officially 11 weeks along and some change. I'm really hoping my symptoms taper off in the next few weeks. I don't like being exhausted 24/7, and nauseous....although quite honestly, I'm so happy to finally be pregnant that I'll deal with whatever. We got our first baby gift today, which really surprised us, but the Relief Society gave us a really cute baby quilt. After Sis. Fisher walked away, Brett and I looked at each other and were like, "Isn't it a bit....early for this?" Well, yeah, but I'm still happy to have a cute quilt.

Speaking of babies, Annette had her little baby girl a few days ago, Rebecah Eve. Joseph sent some pictures...she looks so adorable! Mom said Annette went home yesterday and is doing fine. I'm really excited for them. I bet Kimball will be a great big brother. Congratulations, Annette and Joseph!

Ha! I can FINALLY write about this!

Sometimes I wonder how I ever manage to keep secrets. I just don't know. If it's someone else's secret, I'm fine, and I can keep my lips sealed til Judgment Day! If it's mine, however, I can't keep my mouth shut for very long. So, woo hoo! I've finally told the family, and now I can really spill the beans!

I'm pregnant! Gah!

Most people don't know, but Brett and I have actually been trying for about a year and a half, but my ovaries just weren't cooperating. I don't ovulate regularly (as in sometimes I skip up to six months!), so several months ago I started taking Clomid, which is a fertility agent that helps to promote ovulation. Not like, eight eggs at once or anything, just...normal ovulation. Coincidentally enough, though, the cycle I got pregnant was the first cycle I missed taking my prescription! I'd transferred my scrip to Walmart (since I work in a Catholic hospital, their insurance will not cover Clomid, and it can get VERY expensive depending on the dosage. Walmart? $10.) and there was some confusion about when it would be ready, and then they were closed before I got off work. (Really? 6 pm? Why would a Walmart ANYTHING close at 6 pm? I'm just saying.)

So at any rate, I didn't take my drugs this past month, and I didn't see any changes in my temperature to indicate that I'd ovulated. So, I got ready to start a round of progesterone, but I always take a pregnancy test just in case, since technically you're not supposed to take it while your pregnant unless your doctor tells you to. Imagine my surprise when that little line showed up!

Telling Brett was a lot of fun. I don't think he really believed me at first, but now that he's seen the tiny orange seed of a nugget on the ultrasound, he can't deny it! Ha! Nah, in all seriousness, Brett and I are both really excited (and really terrified) at the prospect of actually becoming parents. Wow. That still sounds weird.

It's strange sometimes, because at the big moments of my life, things just seem so...surreal. Like, is this really happening? Nah. Can't be. And then the logical part of me (yes, part of me really is logical) reminds me that yes, I am an adult, and I'm married, and I'm 23, and it's okay, because this really is happening. Still, it's hard to really come to grips with it. I have to admit, the thought of really being a parent is pretty scary. Hopefully our kids won't be too much like us, because if they are, we'll certainly have our hands full!

Remembering

I know Heather posted about this on her blog, and I don't want to "steal her thunder" or anything, but I always think about her and her accident around the anniversary. I don't know if I've ever really told Heather about it from my point of view, and since I'm thinking about it anyway, I figured I'd write about it.

Like Heather, my day started out completely normal. I was a senior in high school that year, and I loved all the fun things I got to do. The past few years Heather and I had gotten...maybe not closer, exactly, but the meanness and the animosity we'd had for many years had really faded, and I had started to think of her as an actually nice person! We fought all growing up, so I thought at the time that it was quite an improvement. She even helped me out (or rather, bailed me out) for my senior pictures, doing my hair and makeup. I was so grateful then because well, I wasn't very good at those things, and I'd been rather jealous of Heather's good looks for quite some time!

At any rate, I was sitting in my seventh hour class, college prep English, with several of my friends. I never got in trouble (or almost never), so imagine my surprise when I was called up to the office over the intercom. There was the expected teasing from the rest of the class. I left my books, figuring it would be a short trip, and went upstairs. I knew the secretary in the office because I'd dated her son (albeit for a short time) while I was in the color guard and he was in band. When I got upstairs, Kathy looked at me. I knew something had to be wrong because she was almost crying. She said to me very simply, "Laura, your sister's been in a serious car accident and they can't find your mom. You have to talk to the people from the hospital," and she handed me the phone.

I was completely stunned. I barely remember the phone conversation, except that the nurse wouldn't tell me anything because I was a minor (still 17) except that Heather was in critical condition. She kept asking me where my mom was. I couldn't for the life of me remember. I mean, really, you tell me something like that and then expect me to pull details out of thin air? Not going to happen. For some reason, probably because Paul worked at St. John's, I told them her practicum was at St. John's instead of Barnes. Fortunately I remembered where she was going to school, and so I was able to give them that information that eventually allowed them to reach Mom. She had also just gotten a cell phone, but I didn't have the number with me. I knew Chandra had tried to memorize it, and so I told the secretary to call Chandra, who was a freshman at the time, to the office.

I started crying as soon as she walked in the door, which probably scared the pants off her. I told her Heather had been in an accident, they couldn't find Mom, and I couldn't remember her cell phone number. Chandra gave me a number (although it turned out to be off by a number, so they still couldn't reach Mom). Not unexpectedly, I was trying very hard not to freak out, and not doing a very good job. Kathy told me that if we could wait until school was over, she would drive us to the hospital. I said that was fine, and went down to get my books. Since crying makes me all red and splotchy, everyone knew something was wrong when I walked back into the classroom. I picked up my stuff and told my teacher, Mr. Brown, that I had to go. I ignored my friends' questions and just left. I didn't think I could deal with it then, and since I didn't really know anything, there wasn't a point in talking to them.

As soon as school was out, Kathy took us to her van, turned on the hazard lights, and went around all the traffic from the school. I don't remember how long it took to get to the hospital. I remember getting to the waiting room in the ER. Adam was there. I tried to get the nurse to talk to me, but again, since I was a minor, she refused. Now, I love Paul, but imagine my irritation when he walked up to her and asked her, and she spilled everything to him, as did the police officer. He wasn't even a member of the family! Conveniently, he did have the same last name, though, so no doubt she assumed he was. At any rate, Mom finally arrived, and we had a lot of waiting to do. They took us back to another waiting room that was more private after a while. I don't remember a whole lot after that, except that the Haefners came up and sat with us.

Finally they allowed us to go back into the ICU where Heather was. She was in traction to try to fix her dislocated spine, and there were more machines in that room than I've ever seen in my hospital. I was determined to be strong for my family. I'm not sure why I always feel that way, but for some reason I do. I was fine until Mom reached out and took Heather's hand, and then it just hit me. I walked out of the room into the hallway, fell to my knees, and just sobbed for a couple of minutes. I'm really glad none of the nurses asked me if Iwas okay, I would've been super embarrassed. At any rate, after a couple minutes, I stood back up, wiped my face off, and walked back into Heather's room. I honestly think that's the only time I cried throughout the whole 2-month hospital experience.

I have to admit, I had a really bad attitude about the whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I was happy and relieved and excited that Heather survived the accident. It wasn't so bad while she was here in the hospital, or even while she and Mom were in Atlanta. I tried to keep my life as normal as I could under the circumstances, something I've always done when bad things have happened. The hardest part for me was when Heather came home.

As a teenager, Mom and I already weren't the best of friends, and it just got worse. I had quite the attitude problem, and I felt that I was being hugely inconvenienced just by having to help out with Heather and other things around the house. I felt like I was having to miss out on fun stuff because of Heather. It was terrible of me, and I still regret feeling that way. Things got bad enough that I actually ran away for a few days. I was a complete brat.

Fortunately for all parties involved, I grew up, and I matured (thankfully). My entire attitude toward the whole situation changed shortly after Brett and I were married, when Heather was admitted to the hospital with one of her kidney stones. She's mentioned that experience in her own blog. I don't remember exactly how long she was in the hospital, but it was for a couple weeks or so. I remember feeling like now that I was an adult, I really needed to be there for my family. Brett and I tried to make it to the hospital every day, or at least every other. We took food to Mom and Chandra, and picked Chandra up once or twice. It wasn't a whole lot, but it really brought home the principle of service bringing love. I grew to love my family, and to really like them, and to love serving them. I also see that as the turning point in my relationship with Mom, because we really started getting closer after that, to the point now where she's one of my best friends. I never would have thought that possible during my teenage years.

More than all of that, Heather has become an inspiration to me. I've faced some tough times in my life, but I can't imagine going through everything she's been through. Her ability to retain a positive attitude in the face of nearly overwhelming adversity reminds me that I can be positive, too. She is such an amazing person, and I admire her so much. I try to learn from her example to be a better person. There's so much more I want to say about her, but I just can't seem to get my thoughts in that respect onto the page, and I think I've gone on for long enough. (No doubt I'll be appalled at my epistle once I see it on the page!) But I wanted to share my thoughts on this, especially in light of today. I love you, Heather.

Sweet! (ish)

So, obviously, we're back from our trip. We got back in the wee hours of the morning Monday (after which I worked a 12-hour shift...yikes). It was really, really fun. Lunch with Scott and Jenee was actually really a blast. They're both fun people, and after the first few minutes, it really wasn't awkward at all (like I was afraid it would be). We ate at Olive Garden, yum, and had a lot of fun talking.

The Blues hockey game was awesome! We went with a couple people from the ward (one of whom is a Wild fan, the team we were playing, which made it interesting!). The game was really exciting, lots of action, including a good fight, which I didn't expect to see because the Blues aren't usually quite that feisty. But it was really fun. We ended up winning 3-1. Ha ha, Minnesota. :D

The drive up to Ohio wasn't bad, plus Brett and I really like road trips. We just talk and play guessing games with the iPod (which Brett always kicks my trash on because I have a really hard time remembering song titles and the like), but it's fun just to be together. We got to Ohio at 5am local time, which was not so much fun. We slept for a few hours and then left for Pittsburgh around noonish or so with Brett's parents.

Holy cow, is Pittsburgh a cool city or what? Granted, I didn't get to see a whole lot of it because we weren't there for very long, but I really liked what I saw. We did manage to go up the Duquesne (sp?) Incline, which was really fun. The downtown area actually reminded me a lot of downtown St. Louis, which helped me understand Brett's comment about St. Louis being an East-coast town. Yeah. It really kinda is.

So then we went to the Pens game. I'm really glad I got to see the Igloo, although I now totally understand why they're building a new arena. The Igloo is so old! And, for Chandra's benefit, I have to say that the bathroom was repulsive. You don't even want to know the details. Nasty. Alas, the Penguins lost the game against the New Jersey Devils, which was really a bummer, but we still had so much fun. Dad didn't actually go to the game with us, so it was just Brett and his mom and me. We really did have a blast at the game.

After the game we were on the way out to the car and this group of older women (they were totally cougars, and totally drunk) tried to stop Barbara, who was on the phone, to take their picture. She waved them off, but they managed to snatch Brett. He took a few pictures for them, and then (with me standing right there) one of them totally hit on him! She asked for his name (he only gave her his first name), then told him to look her up on facebook and call her! I stepped up (naturally) and said "Hi, I'm his wife!" with a very polite smile on my face. We started walking away and I could hear her mumble some comment, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?) I didn't actually hear what she said. I probably would've gone back and gotten feisty with her.

Speaking of feisty, I thought this was hilarious. We were on the Dusquesne Incline, which is basically a sort of trolley car that goes up and down some tracks up the side of this ridiculously big "hill" in Pittsburgh. It's really old, and really cool. So the four of us were on the Incline, wearing our Go Pens stuff, and there were some Vikings fans in the car with us (the Steelers played the Vikings on Sunday). Barbara totally started stuff with the Vikings fans! I don't really remember what all was said, and it was in good fun, nobody was actually getting mad or anything, but there were some good-natured taunts being thrown around. It was awesome! My mother-in-law is one feisty woman.

So after the game we drove back to Ohio, spent the night (or rather, what was left of it), and just sort of hung out the next day. We went to leave that evening, and what do you know? Our headlights stopped working. We stopped by Autozone and got one of them functioning, so we drove home with one headlight (which for some reason always makes me think of that song). At any rate, we got home safely, and all is back to normal, or at least as close to normal as we get! It really was an amazing weekend!